thetet

eyes were cold, eyes were dark
she seemed to gaze back with no clue of what...
hands were shaky, feebly. wrinkled.

she doesn't feel anyway,
what was left was stone.
strands, disarray
she seemed to breathe,

one. just one more... then she's gone...

Nice to be back!
I really missed my LJ account.
This is where I started to learn how to put into writing my thoughts,
however petty it is.
The venue where I pour out my reflections on my lola's death.
I just wish I would still have that enthusiasm.
Jim P. was right when he said something about "moderation"
quoting Dan Millman's "Moderation? It’s mediocrity,
fear and confusion in disguise. It’s the devil’s dilemma.
It’s neither doing nor not doing.
It’s the wobbling compromise that makes no one happy.
Moderation is for the bland, the apologetic,
for the fence-sitters of the world
afraid to take a stand. It’s for those afraid to laugh or cry,"

"...afraid to take a stand. It's for those afraid to laugh or cry."

Been having that dilemma, especially at work.
I became so tired of fighting for what I think is right,
I just have to settle for what is there
thinking that it is the easy way...
But in the end it makes me unhappy, the idealistic and principled child in me
is boxed-up.

Good thing though, I had a much needed break just this April 2-6, 2009 with my good old friends and cousin.

I missed Palawan. I want to go back. My cousin was saying that another place in Palawan beside Coron. But, I don't mind going back to places in Coron, just the thought of being away from work makes me at peace...haayyy... Being with my friends again would be nice too...

At around 6pm last night, me and my officemate went to Villamor airbase to at least have a glimpse and pray at the relic of St. Therese. I actually didn't really know what to expect, they say that her relic was miraculous.



According to a Catholic Encyclopedia:
"The word relics comes from the Latin reliquiae (the counterpart of the Greek leipsana) which already before the propagation of Christianity was used in its modern sense, viz., of some object, notably part of the body or clothes, remaining as a memorial of a departed saint."



According to the newspaper, the relic/s was kept under three locks in an ornately carved wooden vessel, the relics of St. Therese arrived at 3 p.m. on their second trip to the Philippines. The relics were last here in 2000.I wasn't really sure though what kind of relic of St. Therese was placed there.

St. Therese, canonized in 1925 -- 28 years after her death -- gained a following among military personnel after she was reported to have appeared to wounded soldiers during World Wars I and II.

“She is very popular in the military because there were wounded soldiers who told about a nun who came to help them. It was learned later that this was St. Therese,” said Froilan Torres, a lay servant at the shrine.

The church was very nice, with stained glasses of Jesus, the saints and paintings of popes above the altar. When we got there the line was very long. And when finally I was face to face with the vessel of her relic I didn't know what to do but to pray and ask for good health for my family. There was also a picture of her, her beautiful face when she died...

Some people kept kissing the porrait, rubbing it with their hands or their handkerchief.

wow!
time flies so fast...
i was suppose to stop by the church this morning, before I head to the office, but since it's past 8:00am, I missed going to Baclaran church. I tried to beat the 15 mins. time allowance,got it!

But I'm sure my lola knows that I always pray for her every single day...

I'm having a flu right now. I have a whooping cough (with sticky pleghm... ;( since yesterday, but I had to come here in my journal and write something...

I think it's time for me to be grateful because last year i did'nt have a job and just this mid year I had Dengue... And even if I'm still recovering from my grandmother's loss I think I'm pretty much okey now... :)

Everyday I ride the LRT to go to work, that's from 5th Avenue to Baclaran Terminal
I've noticed a couple of months ago about the Spanish Poems with Tagalog translations at every LRT trains (those new ones...) I would often really make it a point to be in front of every posters even if there were so many people... My camera phone though is not that good enough to catch the pictures... So I decided to just write it in a piece of paper and share here...Here's one of my favaorite:


Pablo Neruda's TU RISA:

Ríete de la noche,
del día, de la luna,
ríete de las calles
torcidas de la isla,
ríete de este torpe
muchacho que te quiere,
pero cuando yo abro
los ojos y los cierro,
cuando mis pasos van,
cuando vuelven mis pasos,
niégame el pan, el aire,
la luz, la primavera
pero tu risa nunca
porque me moriría.

Tagalog translation:

Pagtawanan mo ang gabi,
ang araw, ang buwan
Pagtawanan mo ang liku-likong
landas sa isla,
Pagtawanan mo ang torpeng
lalaking ito na nagmamahal sa iyo,
Ngunit kapag bubuksan ko
at isasara ang aking mga mata,
Kapag ako ay umalis,
kapag ako ay muling bumalik
Ipagkait mo na sa akin ang tinapay,
ang hangin, ang liwanag at ang tagsibol,
Huwag lamang ang iyong ngiti
Dahil ito’y aking ikasasawi

“Why should we be startled by death? Life is a constant putting off of the mortal coil - coat, cuticle, flesh and bones, all old clothes.”
— H.D. Thoreau

Just a rundown on what have happened to me:

04.07.07:
It was raining all night. Then I woke up from my bed, my feet was soaked in flood water! I still managed to go to the office though at around 11:00am that day, with a pair of red "bota" (theflood in front of our house was almost knee high.
Also, it was Landbank's anniversary,Even if it's raining hard every branch had it's ice cream cart as a treat to clients, anyone inside the bank can have a free scoop or more...Of course I had a tumbler...yum...

04.11.07:
I woke up and I wasn't feeling well, still I had to go to the office to finish and submit some reports, it's deadline.I finished the reportsfor submission around 11:30am, then I passed out on my office table! I remember feeling so dizzy with my stomach throbbing like crazy! I didn't eat dinner taht night because of fatigue, then I woke up without eating breakfast, because it was almost 7:00am...I manage to eat tuna sandwich from 7-11. But, i think the tuna did it. It was very reckless of me to not take care of myself... Everyone in the office didn't know what to do, I was very pale, they said they haven't seen anyone so pale...They thought of taking me to the hospital, but Itold them to just call my mom and let manang fetch me... manang came with his son and we rode the taxi from baclaran toour house in caloocan...

...I've been browsing on the net and I can't seem to write "something". Livejournal.com suggested some topics to discussed or write about but I don't know....There's just too many things in my head right now...But i remember my teacher in highschool, to write gibberish first then start from there...

I forgot to tell you about a good friend of mine, Donna. Together with her mom and dad, resides in California. But every year she comes back to Caloocan to spend some time with her friends from Grade school and Highschool. She also came back because her uncle died.

As usual, even if she could stay with her family and relatives house here, she still stayed in 3 stars hotel, so that she could be "free' and have "more fun". She misses her ex-boyfriend and her friends here.

I actually felt guilty because I could not spend much time with her but during weekends. But 2 nights I stayed in the hotel with her. Most of her friends weren't really my type of crowd. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't wear skimpy clothes etc. Anyway while her friends friends were drinking the imported wine she brtought downstairs the room of her hotel, I was upstairs sleeping after watching cable T.V.. But I knew that she went up to put some blanket on me. That's what i like about Donna, she's not judgmental, she's very open to everyone, she's not afraid to be outgoing, to speak her heart out, she doesn't impose anything on anyone.

When we were in highschool, I remember how I initially scold her for not doing her homework, for being maarte, iyakin, irresponsible (that was when i was in 3rd yr high, there weren't any cream section then, we were randomly mixed)...But even if I always scold her for those things she still persist herself on me. she said she still like me to be her friend. She's tall, she's around ft 8, I'm only 5 ft 2.

My teacher in highschool shuffled our seating arrangement, so that those with low grades could catch up. She was not my seating partner that grading period. She suggested to our teacher that she be next to my seat. When the teacher said no, she cried, she went at the back of the room where I was chatting and kneeled and cried on my skirt! I was really embarassed, everyone thought we were "mag-on" (There's this thing with an All girls highschool...) She would often buy me food especially when she noticed that I don't eat during recess. When she noticed that i was beginning to reject her "libre" and stuff, she would also treat my friends...

3 years ago I asked her why she still persist on being my friend when I'm actually an unapproachable person, she said something that I've done to her when we were in Highschool, which i forgot. it was when I taught her some lessons in Math, then our teacher had this recitation that day and she got it right... :)

When she left to the States, I never thought I'd miss her. She's a very warm and true person. Through the years I've realized that I should've spent a lot more time with her. I've always stayed away from people, because I've had this issue about people being too close too me but would leave me anyway (since my dad died)... But, she's the one who I know has been there with me, even if she's not here...

I'm the one who has learned a lot of things from her...And i really miss her... :(

Last April 21., birthday ni Tina pumunta kami ng mga dating officemates ko sa (Landbank Intramuros)sa Batangas sa Punta Fuego. Para syang country club... eto lang muna yung mga pictures: